finally, things are getting smoother after long. but there is still things which is not going smoothly. i don't really wish to state, but those who understand me might understand what i really wish to say. it's definitely not something about relationship. 

i think you know who i mean too.

after reading through your blog, i understand something. 

i didn't know what did i do to annoy you so much. i swear during the last part of training, i really can't managed to keep up. i was stress. i did not delibrately stop. i need time to adapt. but whenever you mention about wednesday, i was stress by you. i do not know how to face you.

i almost broke down after the reaction training. i cried because i was too stress. i don't dare to let you know. i tried my best to hold back the tears, so that you won't know. i really have the heart to train. but you don't see it. what shall i do? 

i don't wish to use crying as a excuses.